so... i know i have been absent...
many reasons...
i can list a bunch of excuses...but there is no real excuse other than an injury and forgetting about myself again.

These past few months have been hard and disappointing in many ways. There is no "prettying" it up. I was on a mission...one that I promised myself and others I would complete. Unfortunately, this will not be the year I get to run in my first 5k race.
A couple of weeks ago, I ran with my best friend and another friend of mine...I think week 4 day 2 of the c25k program...I ran, I puked, I felt horrible during the running and not too bad afterwards.
But I was in A LOT of pain for a few days after and tried to walk my 5 K instead of running but I could barely get my right foot in my running shoe.
So I went and got it looked at and of course I have a stress fracture on the top of my foot and I am to wear an air cast and stay off it as much as I can. I don't wear the cast and I just took it as my way out of running the race.
Honestly, I think that this was the first step in my demise, the beginning of a little depression that set in.
And when I get depressed, I eat...a lot!
I also started working straight days as I take on new responsibility at work. It's been almost 8 years since I have worked 5 days in a row...it's tough.. i'm tired and I think I was trying to prove that I was 100% recovered from a very difficult year.

I'm not sure I was.

And finally 2 weeks ago, I was at work and fell hard in the parking lot. I have hurt my right hip and smashed my knee up pretty good...so now i have a little limp and more to add to my list of excuses.

So as I am 1 week from my 40th birthday, I am searching for myself...I am searching for motivation that comes from within...I am searching for a much happier me.

It's time to no longer make excuses...
It's time to not sit back and be happy for others who are looking after themselves...

It's time to take a good hard look in the mirror and decide that health is THE most important thing to me and my family this year.

no resolutions...i hate resolutions... any one who makes them usually don't keep them...
but i have a few ideas for 2011!!

pray more
spend more time in The Word
focus on myself a little everyday...
spend more time with my real friends.
no more excuses
be smarter
forgive myself
love harder

I could use all the support I can muster up...so if anyone is looking to make some personal changes...let's motivate each other... let's grab hold and say "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" as we go for a ride.