Pushing Through...

so I have been out 5 times so far in about a 2 week span... I had to take 4 days off because of a bad chest cold. I had actually gone out running when the cold had started and felt horrible. The doctor recommended I take it easy and heal then get back at it..
And that's what I have done..

Yesterday was my first day back and I decided to walk to entire 5 kms.  I want to see how long it was and mapped out a path that would get me home at the exact 5 kms mark.... of course, I failed to think of the hills and construction.. but I did it.. I can say that I lightly jogged a few times to see how I felt, but for the most part I walked it and it took me about an hour.
I have 3 months to train for my first ever 5km run on January 1st...
I get nervous just thinking about it...

I am off to the doctors today for a check up and for her to listen to my lungs and get my knees x-ray'd...I'm having some issues with them...
The thing about me though is that once I get an idea in my head and I mean it.. I go for it...
Even if my knees hurt and are swollen and even if I have a cold...

So my goal in the next 2 weeks is to be able to pick up the pace...go a little further while running...
I am also looking into the gym... a friend of mine told me that if my core was stronger, that I would feel better.... so I am looking into that. I really like the Athletic club.. they have pools and I would love to be able to do some swimming and aqua aerobics!!!
I'm still not so sure Yoga is for fat people, but I have another hot yoga friend of mine who has decided it's her mission to get me in a class....umm.. we'll see about that...

I have also sat down and planned out meals and counted calories...
Being sick was tough to stay focused, but for the most part, I did ok...

SO I'm back, still have a runny nose and a cough, but I feel much better and am even back to work...so here I go...

If you are on my Facebook, I had started a little series of videos while I was out running....but then, I watched myself  after I received emails from people telling me how brave I was for doing that...
Umm.. I look like crap and can't believe I did that, so I'm not sure I will continue them, but I am documenting every step to remind me how hard this really is...
Because this is hard...
No pills can fix it..
No magic surgery...
No denying it...

It's really freakin hard....but it's all I can think about...

so for all those who are just starting to smarten up or get started in their own way.. I send you hugs and heating pads and a little A535...let's get 'er done!!!!

no picture..
no excuses...
no more...
this is it..
my real journey to health and wellness has begun....

for almost a year I have read and watched as my friend Katie has taken her life by the reigns and soared to heights that are truly amazing.. I have read and I have watched...in awwwe of her..
everyday I would cheer from the computer and read her words and celebrate her accomplishments....she is still accomplishing her goals everyday...

she is real, and motivating and all woman...a woman who cries, a woman who has battled eating issues, a woman who farts...i mean it doesn't get more real than that... right?

it has been almost 2 years since I had meningitis....a bacteria that nearly cost me my life ...so you'd think that i would get off my ass and get going.. celebrate life...enjoy everyday...
unfortunately, that's not real life at my house...
***my number one goal was to be well enough physically and emotionally to get back to work and get back to supporting my family and i did that...it only took me 15 months, but i was finally well enough to go back to work...

***my number 2 goal was to get my diabetes in check... unfortunately meningitis made a mess of my body on the inside and i have been pumping myself with so much insulin that my body was becoming insulin resistant and my sugars were horrifically out of control all the time... BUT !!!! On August 11th of this year when I saw my endocrinologist, she gave me a new drug and where i used to take over 250 units of insulin a day to keep  my numbers in the mid teens....i take 1.2 mls of this new drug a day and my sugar has not been over 7 since....they call it the diabetic cure... VICTOZA....
it comes with some side effects that i had to get over... but after about a month or so, i told the doctor that i felt "weird"...she said no Dorrie.. you are feeling normal...this is what normal feels like.. no heart palpitations, or high blood pressure or headaches or always feeling angry....THIS IS NORMAL....
and it's true.. i feel calm and less hungry and  off high blood pressure meds.. no heart issues...

***my third goal was to finish something I started last year... i began to run for a 5 k race January 1st...and I started.. I was doing ok at best.. i would puke after a km..could barely life my feet off the ground and after a fall in the parking lot at work, i hurt my knee and hip pretty bad and that was reason enough for me to not do it...
i wasn't ready.. let's be real... 1 year post meningitis.. i wasn't strong enough, my body was not ready for it and unfortunately i didn't have the patience to accept it all ..so i pushed and i hated it...
i really really hated it...

so i continued to watch others...and cheer them on...and never once did i feel sorry for myself...

i'm 40.. i'm a big girl...the decisions i make are my own, i will be ready when i am ready...

and then i talked to my dad a week ago... my dad is a brittle diabetic with severe renal failure...and is on dialysis for 9.5 hours a night every day....he 's dying and he is 60 years old... he wouldn't listen to his body, he wouldn't listen to the doctors and he once told me that he wouldn't talk to me about his issues because he didn't want any uneducated advise... UNEDUCATED ADVISE!!!
ok then...

again i thought i'm 40, i'm a big girl ....the decisions i make are my own and i will be ready when i am ready...

so i came home friday night after working 11 days straight and registered for the Resolution Run on January 1st.  i registered.. i paid.. i'm signed up and the next day i tied my new running shoes up and went out the door...
 i wasn't a 100 meters out and my shins hurt....i could feel my hips burn....and my lower back was definitely reminding me i had a lower back...lol...and it was slow...26 mins and 46 seconds  to walk/run 2.5 kms....

today i am sore and my shins and sore and my back is sore and when i got up this morning i thought ...it's sore because i got exercise...so i got grace ready for the bus and i thought i might change my direction and try to go farther... i can hear my friend Sheri in my head saying"if you've done it, you've done it.. now do something else..move on.. challenge yourself".....but i figured that my time was crappy and although i ran or lightly jogged most of it on saturday.. today i wanted to do better time wise and pick up the pace a little... and i did ..24.56 seconds for the same distance...
my iphone was playing some amazing music...
Jesus Take the Wheel came on and i cried the whole time... i threw my hands in the air and thanked God for getting me up and out and making me feel alive again....i ran the entire song....

so not a huge difference but enough of one that i can see my goal for January 1st... to run my 5 k in about 35 mins. ..

my new meds have kickstarted to weight loss and i lost 5 kgs in the first couple of weeks i was on it...the weight part did stabilize now that i can eat more without feeling sick... so that's where the exercise will start helping...

otherwise, i am grateful to have my own set of cheerleaders and great women who have lead the way and let me ask questions and continue to inspire me...

it's the beginning...and for the first time in a long time... i am proud...to have done it.. and want to continue "doing it"...

If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse.


~ Jim Rohn

i have begun my journey....

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!