well... i took my friend Katie's advice and chucked the scale....

i refuse to look at it everyday...

but .. unfortunatley, I do have to be continuously weighed for my doctors and my return to work agreement...

so ..

i went with my girl Holly for the big  "weigh in" this morning and I lost 5 lbs this week!!!!

woohoo!!!

i feel great...

i just need to get the water in!!!

i have a hard time with drinking water all ...day... long...

so I was told to try this..

everytime i go for a pee... go get a drink after...

water out...water in...

that should do the trick..

so here's to week 2 on my new lifestyle plan...

thank you to everyone for the emails and the facebook messages and support throughout my weight loss and jouney to good health! you have no idea how much it means to me!!!

xoxo d.

My background and circumstances may have influenced who I am, however I am responsible for who I become.
author unknown

ain't that the truth...
never really been fat... but the circumstances of my life for the past few years have led me down this path...
fat is what i am now...
but i am responsible for getting my fat ass out of this mess...

and i am doing it...
counting.. paying attention.. moving... Rob is even getting into it...
it's working...
i feel different...
every ounce of effort counts... every single ounce....

i think it's important to know what you are putting in your mouth.. or at least be conscious of the amount of food you are putting in there...
the key is burning off more calories than you take in, right?
and it doesn't matter how you burn them off...
i sanded an entire master bedroom floor by hand... then washed the floor by hand....
i had sweat in places i never knew you could have sweat...
it all counts...
it all makes a difference...

i wear a pedometer... and it's not to meet and make sure i walk 10,000 steps a day...
it's to keep me aware.. and to make sure that today, i make it a little further than i did yesterday!!!

my sugar is settling down this week.. i feel calmer... and to have a friend walking in the same shoes as i am really does make a huge difference...

i really think this is the hardest thing i have ever done... looking after me..
well.. let the games begin...LOL
d.xo

my thought for the day....

If we do not change our direction, we are likely to end up where we are headed. - Chinese Proverb

i just give a shout out to my friend holly...
she has led me down a new path...one full of hope and success ... thank you "fwend"...xo

the other thing i wanted to mention is that my friend katie has a new blog calle So Write...she is blogging about her road to healthy living... her post today made me giggle and, like i told her, was the exact right thing to read this morning... read it here... thank you katie...

now..off to the gym...

calling all fat kids..

so i found this site and you know...
we really are in this together...
i mean...not everyone understands the struggles of being over weight...
do they?
do thin people get it... do they REALLY REALLY get it?
at the end of the day, i am not looking to be thin..
i will never be thin... i want to be healthy...
i want to live a long life...
i want to show my kids an example...and not one of how to change sharps on the end of my insulin injections..hear what i'm saying?

you know what my mother wants? she wants to know how she can take in a size 2... you know.. a size 2...because her pants are getting a bit baggy....i know, i know.. it's rough..
just sayin'!

so now.. i am joining mcfatty mondays...
every monday i will be giving pics, updates... on how my weight loss journey is coming along..
i can tell you that starting this monday...the 19th...i am having a fitness assessment and will be heading to the gym with a personal trainer .. one on one ... 3 times a week...
i am committing to getting my cardio in on the other days...
i am committing to writing everything down that i eat...
i am committing to my daily journal  entries to let out my feelings...
i am committing to a healthier way...
i am committing to a friend of mine that we will journey together...

this weekend was a bust.. chips, ice creme, cheezies...popcorn...the list goes on...
my sugar is starting to creep up, so it's back to focusing on the rest of my life... instead of just right now...
my real committment .. is to myself...

i've been reading many weight loss blogs this past week...there are soooo many people like me...
in the same boat..
feeling like shit...
fat..
inactive..
just want things to get better...

we need to join forces...
we need to support each other...
we need to share ideas that work... there are so many success stories.. sometimes we just need to change one little thing, like drink more water, and we shake our system up enough to see results...
we need positive support..

if anyone needs a buddy, or an encouraging word once in a while... just send me an email.. i will be happy to join forces and help each other out...
i need to get back to work...
i am hoping that i will put in enough work in the next couple of weeks to convince my doctors i am ready!
it's mcfatty monday...
here we go!!!!

(i'd love to hear your story.. if you've dropped by...do you read because you are just curious about my fat ass... are you struggling too??? looking for a plus size model?? lmao....)
have an amazing ..committed...and worthwhile week!

d xo

do i just give up?
i had an appointment at the doctors today...
we talked a lot about stress and weight ...how they co-relate...
how one affects the other...
you know i was listening... i was listening...
and then i just said... you know doc..."i'm fat because i eat too much....i'm pretty sure that's the whole problem..."..."i can take the blame.. i'm not beneath owning up..no need to blow smoke up my ass...."
pretty sure she wasn't expecting that...

she looked at me...grinned  (because she was the psychiatrist)...and said... "dorrie...we might be sitting in the wrong chairs"....

but of course, my weight is up a few lbs...that's never a good news story....
but i am heading back to the clinic to meet with the weight management team.. the nutrionist...the beahviourist..
i think it might be an intervention....LOL
i think they may pull out the measuring tape...
i think i might be sick that day...

but my shrink today said in times of stress i should envision one of my favorite places...which is definitely seaside...
envision the sandy beaches..
smell the salty sea air..

i was like .. "what for?... why would me thinking out mojitos on the beach have anything to do with weight loss?"
i guess her point is she wants me to visualize a quiet moment... take 5 minutes a day and just breathe... go someplace else in my mind... renew, refresh... help me relax and get my blood pressure down..and stress makes your sugar go up.. and i have been having sugar issues ....and i refuse to take insulin...REFUSE!!!!!!

so she had me try it..

i had to tell her i was thirsty... all that salty sea water made me thirsty.. lmao

anyway.. maybe next time i'll think about another place.. maybe i'll think about vito's... .it's this awesome restaurant in NB... went there a few times while i was there...
pretty sure that will just make me hungry...
probably just defeat the purpose of the exercise...

i'm thinking i want to give up now..
but i know i just can't fail myself...

for now.. for today... i am proud to get through the day as well as i did..
exercised.. ate not too bad.. and i felt good....
and i laughed A LOT!!

i'm ok today...
d.xo