do i just give up?
i had an appointment at the doctors today...
we talked a lot about stress and weight ...how they co-relate...
how one affects the other...
you know i was listening... i was listening...
and then i just said... you know doc..."i'm fat because i eat too much....i'm pretty sure that's the whole problem..."..."i can take the blame.. i'm not beneath owning up..no need to blow smoke up my ass...."
pretty sure she wasn't expecting that...

she looked at me...grinned  (because she was the psychiatrist)...and said... "dorrie...we might be sitting in the wrong chairs"....

but of course, my weight is up a few lbs...that's never a good news story....
but i am heading back to the clinic to meet with the weight management team.. the nutrionist...the beahviourist..
i think it might be an intervention....LOL
i think they may pull out the measuring tape...
i think i might be sick that day...

but my shrink today said in times of stress i should envision one of my favorite places...which is definitely seaside...
envision the sandy beaches..
smell the salty sea air..

i was like .. "what for?... why would me thinking out mojitos on the beach have anything to do with weight loss?"
i guess her point is she wants me to visualize a quiet moment... take 5 minutes a day and just breathe... go someplace else in my mind... renew, refresh... help me relax and get my blood pressure down..and stress makes your sugar go up.. and i have been having sugar issues ....and i refuse to take insulin...REFUSE!!!!!!

so she had me try it..

i had to tell her i was thirsty... all that salty sea water made me thirsty.. lmao

anyway.. maybe next time i'll think about another place.. maybe i'll think about vito's... .it's this awesome restaurant in NB... went there a few times while i was there...
pretty sure that will just make me hungry...
probably just defeat the purpose of the exercise...

i'm thinking i want to give up now..
but i know i just can't fail myself...

for now.. for today... i am proud to get through the day as well as i did..
exercised.. ate not too bad.. and i felt good....
and i laughed A LOT!!

i'm ok today...
d.xo