it's amazing really the job that i have...
i love it...
it has it's absolute crazy moments, there is sadness and anger at what some people do to themselves and each other...
throughout the course of a 12 hour shift, i experience many emotions...
and let's be real here, i am an emotional eater...

i get 2 15 minute breaks and 2 30 minute lunches per shift and you'd have thought that i had to stuff every single calorie i could find in my mouth during that time or i wouldn't survive the rest of the shift.
lunch time usually involved a trip to Wendy's or subway or McDonald's...easy, fast and never ever made me feel good.. yet I did it anyway...and I have been doing this job for 7.5 years.

today i am a different person...
i take into consideration my breaks and lunches and carefully calculate and measure all portions for my entire day at work...i don't bring  my debit card..i don't bring money....
i have completely changed my behaviour towards food...

and the best part is that i am completely satisfied.

the slightest modifications sometimes make the best and most amazing impacts in our daily lives.
i am still at that point right now where i am afraid to go and eat out because of all the oils and and sodium and sugar that i have taken out of my diet...i just have to learn how to order things i imagine...

i have been on Herbal Magic for 3 weeks now and I have lost 14 lbs...I only had a chance to weigh in last tuesday (so i'm not sure if there are any other decreases...but i can tell a little that there may be :) ).
i normally weigh in 3-4 times a week to make sure i keep on track, but with work and shifts and overtime and training sessions all this week, it's been insane..
but i have kept to the plan  and i am proud to be where i am...

since having Grace, this has been one of the most difficult things to deal with... i hate the fat...
i try to accept myself the way i am, but i have never accepted it....now i have taken the steps to make it better not only for today, but for always...

i went down a pant size at work, and i picked up new ones.... the old ones were immediately disposed of... there is no going back...
i feel better than i have in a long time....

oh and one of my goals this year is to do the testing for Ottawa Fire... they test every two years, and applications start in May...physical testing is in November....so i may be calling on a friend to help me out here, but i have to increase my upper body strength and my cardio if i even want a shot at not looking like a jackass...lol....

thank you for the emails and support... i so appreciate it...
xo