friday....what does that mean?
nothing really...
just been told by manulife (the company that pays me to stay home) that they want me to go through a summer of shrinks and fitness and get through all of the summers stresses before i head back to work...
i give up...
yesterday i sat with my shrink who hadn't seen me in a few weeks because she was on vacation, told me that she thought i had gained weight...
should she be saying stuff like that?
anyway.. needless to say.. i did tell her that i have my period...so i MUST be bloated...LOL...any excuse for it NOT to be my fault...and as a side note, since i have been sick,my periods are nasty... NASTY...
never in my life have i been able to tell it was coming, no pain, barely bleeding.. nothing...
now... i can barely take 2 steps... i am bitchy... and i just don't want to move...
remind me to send meningitis a card at christmas time, would ya?
good grief...

all that talk about periods to say...
i did go to snap fitness... and i worked out with a trainer... i strongly advise a trainer if you are new at this workout thing... i think it's great when we have all this motivation to get up and get going, but if you have no idea what you're doing... it's great to have some guidance... and someone to push you...
anyway... he was pretty tough.. but i am wayyyyyyy physically stronger than i ever though i was...
i walked 5 minutes to warm up on the treadmill... then he had me start to "jog"...then run... i lasted about 20 mins (which is what he wanted) and ran 2.4 kms...
i was going at a good pace... and then nearly barfed ..lol
i refuse to do the classes because i went to goodlife for a while and it's all the skinny bitches in those pilates classes and fat and pilates do not work out so well.... and although i would swear sweat my ass off.... i just hated it...
but my trainer told me that i should focus on weight loss... everything in moderation... 4 times a week at the gym and lots of everyday stuff in between...
i can do that...
scale reads 220...so i am happy that in the midst of the red sea overflowing and my inability to get my ass to the gym because of all the pain, there are still results...
eating wise.. well i have great success days... and i  have great failing moments...
but i eat when i am not hungry and that is mostly the problem...
the other thing that is somewhat keeping me on track... is writing it down!
BUT.. i write it down BEFORE i eat it... so i then decide if i really WANT or NEED what i am about to write down... i change my mind .. A LOT!
i was going to get rob to take some biggest loser pics of me... just not sure i really really want to look at those... but to start with, i have only ever taken head shots.. and sometimes from an angle... so although they are not edited.. and it's really me.. i can hide the rolls... the double chins...
i think i might just do it.. still thinking about that one.. LOL
here's to another weekend of challenges, including gracie's birthday party... i changed my mind and decided to make my own cupcakes... strawberry lemonade... but i secretly wonder if i am making that flavour because they are MY favorite.. or because the kids might like them...
i'll let you know how i do!