well it was only days after my last post on this blog that i fell ill with pneumococcal meinigitis...

after being in icu for several days, i was transfered to a regular room for 2 weeks...

then i was sent home...

i lost a bunch of weight,

when i got home from the hospital i weighed 199... hoy crap, huh!!!!!

even i was shocked...

but i hadn't eaten in almost 3 weeks...

then gained it back with 9 weeks of iv antibiotics...

i was very sick...

very ...

but as close of a call as it was, i went back to the weight management clinic at the end of january...

and i did awesome...

but..

life has handed me a lot of trials and tribulations and i have failed myself in many ways...

i blame nothing and no one but myself...

i got down to 200.5....crazy huh?

well i don't weigh that anymore..

and my sugar is starting to get a little crazy...
i can tell because i am bitchy...and angry all the time...

according to my Wii this morning... i am 224.5

today i have started the program again...

this time i am focused on the end prize..

this time i cannot fail myself again...

this time i have to fight for me...

i have cried a lot today!

i decided to take a self portrait....

so here i am today... i am hoping for a much better picture next time!

if anyone actually reads this blog...i encourage you to get rid of the fat... it has taken up too much of my time and i have wasted too many years like this and the tears everyday are getting old...

i know what i need to do... do you?